Traveling or getting out of your usual routine is a way to fine tune your IE skills and learn more about yourself in recovery.
3 Takeaways After Trying Breathwork
The term “breathwork” refers to an active meditation utilizing breathing techniques for the purpose of altering your mind state. It is commonly used for relaxation, spiritual practices and coping with stress, trauma or anxiety. It has been used therapeutically and spiritually for thousands of years with a modern resurgence in the western hemisphere in the 1960’s. Examples include Pranayamas in Yoga, meditations in Buddhist tradition, and modern therapy practices to access unconscious material.
When presented with the opportunity to join a breathwork workshop I was curious, but skeptical my experience would be anything extraordinary. I thought “I help people breathe all the time as a therapist, what will this really do for me?”.
The breathwork I did was inspired by Tummo meditation with a mix of the Wim Hoff & Holotropic methods. I essentially put my nervous system into a state of activation (fight or flight) for 40 minutes, and then brought my body back into parasympathetic (rest and digest) for 20 minutes. The entire process was under the supervision and guidance of a trained professional. I personally never felt out of control or unsafe.
Here are three takeaways from the experience*:
We are not taught how to breathe
Wild, right?! It’s literally THE thing our bodies are born knowing how to do, yet so many of us are just walking through life holding our breath. Even as a therapist who does EMDR and uses somatic techniques with clients, I didn’t really understood how to breathe properly in everyday life. Since this workshop I have been much more aware of my pelvic floor muscles, when I’m holding my breath or engaging in shallow breathing. I am sleeping better, feeling less tense in my body and overall feel more capable of managing anxiety.
Our energy is real and powerful!
I grew up in a Catholic household in midwest America. My therapy training was extremely westernized and rooted in mostly white, patriarchal research. I love yoga, I dabble in astrology when friends are interested and will listen to guided meditation to sleep. I’m a 6/10 on the “woo wood” scale; open but skeptical. When people talked about being spiritual or noticing energy I didn’t fully relate.
It turns out, breathwork did feel spiritual. My body was creating and moving energy culminating in this really intense, deep experience of self. I felt my own energy, maybe for the first time. There were tears, yelling, tingling and even laughing. At one point my body from the waist up was completely numb. I was unable to move my arms, but I wasn’t scared. The tears felt joyful. The laughter felt freeing. The breathwork facilitator, as well as the community of people I was with, created a safe container to temporarily surrender to the process and feel the full scale of my energy.
Our bodies are infinitely more capable than we know
I journaled immediately after the experience. I highly recommend writing, painting or creating post breathwork. One thing I noticed looking back at my journal was the simple statement “that was MY body”. I felt empowered and in awe of my body in the aftermath. To truly feel connected to one’s body can be a rare experience, especially those who struggle with eating disorders and body dysmorphia. One thing I love most about being a therapist is equipping people with tools to influence and guide their internal experience. We can’t control what emotions come up, but we are not powerless to them. When we have these tools it can actually feel safe enough to be in our bodies. Breathwork is a great tool for not only accessing deeper parts of self, but coping with intense, often out of control feelings.
Some folks I practiced with reported visions of their inner child, physical clenching of hands and feet, hearing a clear, inner voice, and so much more. If you’ve ever been curious about guided breathwork I hope this helps you understand more of what to expect and feel more confident about exploring the right facilitator for you. I personally enjoyed doing it in community with others, in a place I felt really safe in.
*This is a summary of my personal experience with one breathwork session. I am not an expert. Consult your doctor or therapist before engaging in breathwork. Certain medical and psychiatric conditions may not be appropriate or safe for this practice.
References
“History of Breathwork”, Mana Breathwork. https://manabreathwork.com/history-of-breathwork
3 Ways to Cultivate Self Compassion
People love to throw out catchy phrases like “Don’t believe everything you think” and “How you talk to yourself matters” when touting the power of positive thinking. While oversimplified perhaps, these sentiments do hold great truth. Many of us are walking around all day with an inner critic running around unsupervised. We can’t control the first thought, but we do have some influence over the second and third.
One way I work with clients on this is to cultivate their self compassionate or self parenting voice. This can be a lot harder than it sounds! Even for people who are parents themselves. While the process is different for everyone, here are three strategies for cultivating self compassionate:
Notice your compassionate voice for others
Ask yourself these questions: How would you respond to a friend if they were sharing these thoughts? What would you do to comfort a loved one? How would you validate a friend’s feelings without agreeing with their negative belief? What would you a tell a child who was feeling this way? What would you have wanted to hear as a child?
There is a good chance you are far more understanding and empathetic with other people in your life, even strangers! If you have the language for them, that is where you start with yourself! You are not an exception.
Create a nurturing figure or gentle parent voice
Close your eyes. Feel your feet on the ground. Take a deep breath from the bottom of your diaphragm, up through your chest and hold for 5 seconds. Release slowly, allowing your body to settle and release tension. Repeat 3-5 times. Allow your mind to notice what image, color, shape, animal or person you associate with feelings of being nurtured or parented. Once you have an image that evokes a positive and calm feeling, picture it in your mind in great detail. Pay attention to how it looks, feels, or what it sounds like. Notice all your five senses. This may take several minutes.
Next, pay attention to what this figure says to you and how it makes you feel. Ask it a question or advocate for what you need. Notice its response. Once you’ve spent enough time with it, open your eyes and notice how you feel in your body.
Next time you hear that inner critic starting up, picture that figure. Imagine what it would say to you in this situation. Allow it to provide care, empathy and support.
Get clear around your values and beliefs
A value is a core principle or belief you hold that remains fairly consistent over time. Some examples are; kindness, justice, independence, financial stability, spirituality. So what do values have to do with self compassion?
Let’s say you truly believe every person deserves to be able to buy and wear clothes that it their body, yet you are denying yourself new clothes because you feel ashamed of needing a different size. Your behavior would be out of line with your value system. If intelligence is a value for you, yet you are calling yourself stupid and treating yourself like an imposter every day, that doesn’t match with your value system.
When we’re not living aligned with your values an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance can occur. Your beliefs about the world and other people should apply for YOU first and foremost.
Shame doesn’t motivate positive behavior change. If there are goals you have for yourself start with how you’re talking to yourself. Self compassion is a skill we cultivate and maintain throughout the life span.
What does self compassion sound like for you?